A painful realization

Did the unthinkable today. Instead of patience and love, what came out was violence and humiliation. Thereafter, guilt sets in and long hours of repentance, forcing the emotional flood gate to be breached time and again. Couple of hours of work was not enough to steer my mind away.

In the end, I went to seek forgiveness, but only to get more traumatic response. Was that an onset of insecurity? I guess I would never know. But the reddish flesh cuts deep in my mind, as well as my heart.

I hope that monster would not appear again.